


And so they leave, and they leave no letter.

by C4pricornC4ts



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, DadSchlatt, Explosions, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Language of Flowers, My take on the SMP, Philza kills Wilbur, Tubbo watches, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27612395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C4pricornC4ts/pseuds/C4pricornC4ts
Summary: “Wil please, you do this and you’ll never forgive yourself.”“There’s no forgiveness left for me either way. If I can’t have L’manberg, no one can.”Philza was too late to save Wilbur Soot.------------Or; A dad loses his kids, a kid loses his dad, and its all caused by a war they never chose.
Comments: 15
Kudos: 173
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, remember when I said drunk Wilbur was the worst I'd write? Haha... about that. 
> 
> Warnings for; blood, injury, explosions, major character death, and swearing.

“You push that button, and you’ll be destroying everything.” Philza pleads to a very broken yet determined Wilbur.

“I know, believe me I know Dad.” He mutters weakly, before going into yet another coughing fit causing him to fall against the wall. He drags his gloved hand through the dirt laden wall until he finds the button. 

“Wil please, you do this and you’ll never forgive yourself.”  
“There’s no forgiveness left for me either way. If I can’t have L’manberg, no one can.” 

Philza was too late to save Wilbur Soot. 

The cave they’re in begins to shake with each TNT blast from the outside. He hears screaming, then shocked silence as the explosions travel further away. Philza swears he sees Wilbur smile as the first parts of the roof begin to fall around them. 

They needed to leave and Wilbur clearly was prepared to suffocate. No matter what Wilbur did, he’d always be Philza’s firstborn son and so Philza would always protect him. Many would leave Wilbur to perhaps a well deserved death. But Philza was not one of the many. 

He carries his son through the entrance to the cave and leans him against the mountain side before assessing the damage. The festival was completely destroyed. The man was left to wonder just how far Wilbur must have been pushed to do this much damage. 

Philza was far too late to save Wilbur Soot.

The silence is pierced by a gut wrenching scream from his left. Tubbo was leaning over the bloodied body of Philza’s youngest. “He gone. H-he was so scared and confused and now he’s gone.” 

Philza was too late to save Tommy.

Philza rushes to Tommy’s side and brushes the boy’s unkempt hair out of his face. He doesn’t look away as he closes the blond’s eyes. And holds him in his arms much like Tubbo was moments ago. 

Philza was far too late to save Tommy.

He let’s himself grieve as Tubbo marches up to Wilbur with such anger that no one had ever thought the boy was capable of. Death changed people, unfortunately. The boy grabs Wilbur by the front of his coat with hands soaked in black and red. 

“You killed him! You’re a fucking monster. He was your brother Wilbur. He stuck by you when no one else did. He loved you so goddamn much Wilbur.” Tubbo drops to his knees and releases his grip on Wilbur who falls back against the mountain and does not move. “ He loved you. Even after you locked him away for days, wh-when you hit him or even burned-”

“Kill me.” Wilbur grits out painfully. His eyes are glossy and he’s struggling to keep eye contact with Tubbo. Philza never thought he’d see the day the one who won the war would look so defeated. 

“What?” The boy whispers in shock, almost too quiet for Philza to hear. “I-I can’t Tommy wouldn’t want that for you.” 

“I killed Tommy. I deserve it.”

Tubbo starts screaming again, accompanied by sobs that shook his whole body causing him to collapse onto Wilbur who weakly drapes his arm over the child’s back. 

“Tubbo, come and sit with Tommy.” He tries to say it gently, but it was an order. Tubbo knew it too. 

Philza leaves Tubbo to say goodbye to his friend while he walks over to Wilbur. Unsheathing his sword as he walked. Kneeling before his oldest, the sword digging into the grass beside him. He was too late to save Wilbur Soot, but he’ll be damned if he’s not the one to bring him peace. 

“I can’t live with what I’ve done. Please let me go.” He pleads. 

Philza cups the boy’s face in his hands and kisses his forehead. Wilbur smiles and closes his eyes, leaning into his father’s touch. Philza loved his sons too much to let them suffer. 

The sound of a sword piercing his skin is sharp. Tubbo dry heaves as Wilbur starts to choke on his own blood, too weak to cough. “I love you.” Philza says it as gently as he could. He wanted it to be the last thing he hears. 

And so it was. 

He picks up Wilbur and Tubbo does the same for Tommy. They decide to bury them under the last natural tree in L’manberg. The one place completely protected from war. The one place the two soldiers could finally rest. 

Philza digs the graves alone, Tubbo goes to gather some flowers. 

Their bodies were battered with bruises, littered with scars. Their clothing was torn, they were bathed in blood and ash. It was not how Philza thought his two boys would die. Techno was the one he expected to bury from war. Not his two who loved music and art all their youth. 

Tubbo holds the flowers in front of him and prays as Philza buries them. He steps back and gestures for the younger to place the hyacinths between the graves. 

Eulogies would come later. Neither of them could bring themselves to speak.

Tubbo turns from the graves and throws himself into Philza so fiercely that the air is forced out of his lungs with a wheeze. It takes him seconds before he's wrapping his arms around the boy, shielding him almost completely from the outside world. Tubbo cries once again, muffled by Philza’s robes as he rocks the boy gently. 

In this moment; Philza realizes two things; Tubbo lost his father this morning. Philza lost his sons by the afternoon. And now, in the evening, they found each other. 

Philza was too late for Wilbur. Philza was too late for Tommy. 

Philza was not too late for Tubbo. 

“Come live with me. I have a farm in a town not too far from here. There’s a schoolhouse there. You could be a kid for once.” 

Tubbo pulls back, but keeps Philza at arms length. They’re both shaking from shock and exhaustion. “ I can’t leave, Wilbur made me president! We both have family buried here. We have to just rebuild-”

“Can’t or won’t leave Tubbo? Because I promise if you want to we can leave. Everyone here has chosen violence but you Tubbo. Don’t you see? Leave the adults to their mistakes. You chose peace a long time ago. This is your chance to find it.” He is praying to the gods that Tubbo agrees and let’s Philza take him far away from this hell. 

“Once a month.” Tubbo takes Philza’s hand in both of his. 

“What?” 

“I’ll go. I’ll leave the adults to see their own mistakes in time. If we visit our families once a month. No more, no less.” 

Philza smiles, and for the first time since his boys left the antarctic to join this world, he feels hope. “Of course. No more no less.” 

And so they leave, and they leave no letter.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first try at a bit of an epilogue. 
> 
> Find me on Wattpad/Ao3/Tumblr : c4pricornc4ts

The first month of living with Tubbo had its ups and downs. The boy quickly took to farming, starting several beehives in the unused field Philza had by the house. The boy had an affinity for gardening and had been slowly filling their house with indoor plants. Philza didn’t mind. After what they’ve been through a little color was always welcome. 

Tubbo didn’t take the plants dying very well however. He’d look to Philza and ask what he did wrong, to which Philza would respond by gently guiding him to the nearest seat and telling him he did everything he could. 

He loved to tag along and help Philza run their part of the markets. People took to the boy’s excitable personality quickly and before long he was being invited to events with other children. (Most were politely declined, Philza really didn’t like leaving him alone.) He went to school and was learning to read and write and all the things war did not. 

To their town, Tubbo was another one of Philza’s chaotic adoptees. Extraverted and happy to talk for hours about his bees with anyone who’d listen. No one really questioned where he came from, and Tubbo was happy to avoid it. 

The trouble came when they were home alone. Something as small as a pen drop sent the boy into a panic. Sometimes he’d attack Philza, forgetting where he was for a moment, then the second he’s calm enough to know he’s apologizing and sobbing while Philza forgives him over and over while holding him for hours. Other times he’d just hide. The boy would hide in the strangest places when he was scared and Philza was going gray from the heart attacks he gets when he turns the corner to see a teenage boy staring at him from on top of the fridge. 

Neither of them talked about any of this, not even when it’s three am and Philza is stripping the teen’s bed sheets while Tubbo would dry heave in the bathroom after a bad nightmare. 

The night before their first and hopefully not last visit to L’manberg is sleepless. Philza is startled by his bedroom door being thrown open, slamming into the wall so harshly he knew he’d need some paint later. Just as quickly as it’s open, Philza watches Tubbo throw his back against the door like he’s trying to keep something out. 

Philza puts on his glasses and blinks until the scene was completely in focus. Tubbo looked exhausted. He’s breathing heavily, staring at nothing in particular as if he doesn’t know the other was in the room yet. “Tubbo what’s going on?” 

He gets out of bed, grabbing his sword just in case there really was something outside. But judging by the lack of noise from anyone but Tubbo, he assumed this was the cause of a nightmare. 

“Wilbur, h-he was he was gonna-” Tubbo stops abruptly when he processes that Philza was there. 

He puts down the sword, and his heart drops. Philza begins to wonder just how much damage his oldest had caused. “Wilbur’s gone, he can’t hurt you anymore Tubbo. I wouldn’t let him anyways.” 

“What about Tommy?” He leans forward, easing off the door but still not getting up. 

“He can’t hurt Tommy anymore either. No one can.” He finds his way over to the door in the moonlight and leans against it. Albeit a little more casually than Tubbo was. 

Tubbo looks at him, and Philza can see how pained he was. The circles under his eyes were dark, and his face was concerningly pale. He places the back of his hand on Tubbo’s forehead, checking for a fever. 

He draws his hand away and sighs in relief that he felt normal. So it wasn’t a fever hallucination. Just a painfully realistic nightmare. Philza could handle that. No doctors needed. 

“It feels so real.” The brunette sobs out. Philza opens his arms, an invitation that Tubbo quickly accepted. 

“You’re alright Bee.” He decides to guide Tubbo to his bed, his legs already hurting from sitting on the floor. It takes a minute to make the move, since the boy refused to separate from Philza even for a second. 

“I know they’re gone. I saw them die. I saw dad die too.” He whispers once they’ve settled on the edge of the bed. “It just feels so real. I miss Tommy. I miss Wilbur too.” 

“I’m so sorry Tubbo.” He hopes it’s the right thing to say. Even after raising three kids, he has no idea what to do right now besides hold him tighter. He really hopes it’s enough.

“We’re visiting tomorrow. Shit.” The boy curses, then he freezes and looks up to Philza long enough to stutter out a quick “Sorry.” 

Philza laughs. “I think you should be allowed to swear about this.” Tubbo takes a deep breath, sighing it out and trilling his lips. 

“I even miss my dad. Is that okay?” 

“Of course it is, no matter what terrible things he did he’s still your dad.” 

“He was a good guy. The power got to him, Philza. He didn’t even remember me most of the time. I felt like I had already lost my dad and then I saw him die again and it-it just really, really hurts.” Philza cards his hand through Tubbo’s tangled hair. Stopping at the ends to gently pull them apart. 

“You know, before the war Wilbur and Schlatt were good friends. I considered Schlatt one of my own boys with how often he was over here.” Tubbo looks up at him, tentatively wanting to know more about his father’s past. “Everyone in L’manberg will celebrate the deaths of our family. But we remember who they were. And that’s who we mourn.” 

“Philza please never become president. I don’t want to lose you too.” 

“I wouldn’t dream of it. You won’t lose me. You’ve lost enough.” His voice falters at the end, his eyes clouding with tears. He started to see why Techno goes to such lengths to prevent order. Power changed people. 

“What was my dad like as a kid?” Tubbo mumbles tiredly, closing his eyes and relaxing in Philza’s hold. 

“He was snarky and loud and confident but he cared about everyone deep down. He was inconsolable when Wilbur fell in a frozen lake. No matter how many times I promised him Wil just needed to warm up.” 

The winged man keeps talking about Wilbur and Schlatt long after Tubbo’s breathing evened out. Only stopping when he’s too choked up to continue. He lies Tubbo on the pillow next to his and tucks him in. There’s tear tracks down both of their faces and Philza considers postponing their trip another day. 

Maybe the closure would help Tubbo sleep at night. Philza can only hope it will. 

\-------------  
“Philza? We need to go before everyone in L’manberg wakes up too.” Philza wakes up to a blurred Tubbo leaning over him, already dressed and ready for the day. 

They get ready for the trip, Philza making breakfast while Tubbo does all the morning farm work. It’s cold outside and by the darkened clouds, it’s only getting colder. He wraps Tubbo in a warm coat only slightly too big on him and they grab their bags. 

They visit the tree first, Tubbo says a eulogy for each of them, holding the paper he had written it on with shaking hands. Philza wrapped an arm around his shoulder, worried he’d collapse.   
The boy finishes with a heavy sigh and looks up at Philza. Offering him a chance to speak. His mouth feels dry, he really didn’t want to say anything because nothing he’d ever say would be enough. No matter how much he stared at the paper where he was to write eulogies, he never found the words. 

“I love you.” That’s all he wrote. It’s all he could say.

Schlatt’s grave is much different. There’s photos of him littering the area, Philza pulls Tubbo towards him and takes down the ones where his father’s face is torn out. The people can be angry, but Tubbo was hurting enough. 

Tubbo turns around, staying close to Philza and looking up at the mural of his father. His expression is unreadable as he keeps staring. 

“They hated him.” 

“They did.” 

“And yet, they made a mural of him, they gathered for his funeral.” The brunette tilts his head, heavily confused. 

“People are given more respect when they die.” 

“Why? Do they remember who he was? Did they care?” 

“Maybe they always cared, just deep down.” He doubts it’s true, not many people in L’manberg were known to hide their emotions. If they had loved Schlatt, they’d say it. But it’s what Tubbo needs to hear. It’s what Philza wants to tell him. 

They stand together, Philza stays.


End file.
